One more to go.....

So Shane might get to be a part of an experimental treatment. If he is able to get in and be one of the 300, then his last chemo treatment will be next week. We were told about this a few weeks ago and it sounded really good. It is a pill that he will take daily. We do not know any of the side effects. Well today we got a little more info. There will be 300 people accepted. 150 will receive the pill and 150 will receive placebo pills...we would not know what he would be taking. So that is the scary part. After 8 weeks of taking the pill, they will do scans and see how things look. If we was taking the "real" pill and there was progress, then he will continue on with that treatment and they say that it would be free for the next 3 years. For those of you who don't know how freaking expensive chemo is...that sounds pretty dang good. One day of chemo ranges from about $10-20k depending on which treatment day it is.

Anyway, so if it is working...GREAT!! If he was one to get the placebo pill and the cancer has grown..then back to the old treatment. One thing we have been told is that this kind of cancer will never go away. He will always be on some type of treatment for the rest of his life. So if this experimental one were to work for him, most likely this is the type he would continue taking.

Happy Father's Day!!

So Father's Days and Mother's Days seem to be interesting days for Shane and I. Mother's Day is bittersweet for me since my Mom died, yet it is supposed to be a great day to celebrate that I am a mother. So I can imagine that sincce Shane's Dad is no longer alive, he feels the same way on Father's Day.

I think Shane is the greatest Dad to our boys. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to go from 0 kids to 3 kids overnight. It takes a good man to take on that kind of responsibility.

I love to see him out playing catch with them or teaching them to wakeboard. The boys really look up to him and mimic what he says and does and want to be just like him. It means a lot to me to see what a great relationship and bond he has with each one of them. He has definitely toughened them up since we have been married. Having raised the boys by myself for over 3 years, they picked up a lot of great things...like telling me that my new shirt was cute and how I smell good with my lotion on. Shane rolls his eyes when he hears that, so he is teaching them what he thinks they should know...umm like how to shoot a .22 or brand and castrate cows....quite a difference. But hey..they will be well-rounded kids.

Anyway...Happy Father's Hun!! Hope it was a good one!!

Shane has been requesting all these crazy things for his snowmobile lately...so for Father's Day, we got him 2 of them. I am not even sure what exactly they are for, but they gauges for some boost or something and I have no clue about the other one. Then I got him a couple of Gordon Ramsey cookbooks. He loves that guy and watches every show possible with him on it. Shane has become quite a cook.

Dylan & Dallas Turn 9

This year for Dylan and Dallas's birthday party, we let them choose one friend to take to Bookdocks for the Unlimited Pass. Dallas chose to take Austin, and Dylan chose to take Camden. They ran around from Laser Tag to Go-Karts to Bumper Boats to collecting as many tickets as possible. They had a blast!!

Then we went home for pizza, presents, cake, and icecream. Dylan and Dallas have been talking about getting one of thise Rip Sticks/Wave things. For those who don't know what those are..you are lucky!! :) So that is what Shane and I got for them this year. They have been on them non-stop. They have gotten to be pretty good. I will have to post pictures of them riding them. Shane has actually gotten pretty good too.

They also got a couple footballs, a new bat, and some bat bags. They are loving baseball right now, so now they are thinking they are pretty cool with their own bat bags.

Talking to Shane 101

First off I would like to point out that Jen is doing awesome, her foot surgery went well and she doesn’t seem to be in much pain. The Dr. said that the nerve was about the size of a string but the Neuroma was about the size of the end of your finger and was the consistency of gristle. She’s a trooper .

Now for me, let’s start off by saying that my scan went well, there are no new tumors and the ones I do have seem to be stable. The Dr. is thinking about putting me on some experimental drug, but for now it is the usual chemo.

If you see me in the near future here is a list of rules I would appreciate that you follow:
1. Don’t act uncomfortable around me, I can sense that a mile a way. You can NOT say anything that is going to offend me or make me feel bad.
2. If you want to know about my cancer, ask me, don’t beat around the bush trying to get information from me in some B.S. round about way, I respect people who are blunt.
3. Don’t ask how I feel, I feel fine, I feel normal, I feel better than you most likely.
4. Don’t be so sensitive, if you can’t handle me joking around about me dying, then don’t talk to me. I am realistic, I know I may die, but while I am here I want to have fun and make the most of this situation.
5. Don’t tell me you’re sorry, I am not sorry so why should you be? I have a really bad form of cancer and to be honest I wouldn’t have it any other way, if you are going to beat something wouldn’t you want to beat something difficult rather than something easy? If it were easy, anyone could do it.
6. STOP saying I look good, I interpret it as “You look good, for someone with cancer.”

I am sure I will think of more as time goes on, until then do yourself a favor and take a moment to appreciate everything you have and see. I am really lucky, I have had my eyes opened 10 fold. Take a moment and appreciate your spouse, or your kids, or your family, or your friends or even your cats, there are so many little things in this world that we take for granted, don’t wait for some life changing event to open your eyes, do it now.

Life Goes On.....

I know that we haven't posted on here in about a month....but there hasn't really been anything to post. I have recovered from DisneyLand...mostly. I have surgery on my foot on Friday...exciting....I will finally be able to walk normally instead of walking on the side or heel of my foot. Thought I better get it taken care of since wakeboarding season was coming up.

Shane and I had our 2nd year anniversary this past weekend. We celebrated it by losing a lot of money in Wendover. :( But hey it was nice to getaway and get our minds off of reality.

Shane is on Week 3 of his 2nd round of Chemo. He has a CT scan this week and we will have results sometime next week. Keep your fingers crossed that the chemo is still working. Shane is obsessed with working out still....or wait he calls it dedication, not obsession.

Day 3-6 -- DisneyLand Trip

Pure exhaustion...

That is how I feel after a long trip of 3 boys and being on my feet non-stop. But it was a lot of fun to see how happy there were to do everything....even with the Mom, can I have some cotton candy...Mom, can I have a churro....Mom, can I have some icecream...Mom, I need to go to the bathroom (this was Tyler in almost every long line we stood in when we were getting close to getting on the ride..I would say..can you hold it...NO) Oh so fun!!!

We went to California Adventures on the 3rd day. We got there and no one was there. We were able to walk onto rides and ride them over and over again. They loved it. Tyler's favorite ride was Mulholland Madness -- it is just like the Wild Mice at Lagoon. Just a side note on this ride...we went to ride it Saturday and had fast pass tickets to get on for 3:50 (Yes I remember the exact time). Anyway, we get there and the guy taking the tickets looks at his watch and says...oh sorry it is only 3:40. I was thinking....you have got to be kidding. But I sat there and waited for what felt like 10 more minutes. We headed back up there...he looks at his watch and told us...sorry you have 1 more minute. I said, "What!! You have got to be kidding!!" He said, "Nope and I am making these people right next to you wait their 3 minutes...I know I am a mean person." Ok so who does the hiring at DisneyLand because that guy just shouldn't work at a place like that. Anyway..that was venting with stupid people.

Then we headed over to the Maliboomers and California Screamin'. Tyler was too short to go on both of those. He was pretty bummed. I stayed off with him while Dylan and Dallas did the Maliboomers...I was ok not going on that ride. Then I threw him on the Carousel with Dylan while Dallas and I went on California Screamin', and then we switched. That was Dylan and Dallas's favorite ride.

Then we were off to the Tower of Terror. They had been requesting this ride since the moment we entered DisneyLand. Well we survived...barely.... Tyler did not like that ride one bit. The look on Tyler's face on the picture that they take was pretty hysterical.

The next 2 days we went and hit all the smaller rides that we had missed on the first 2 days and got a lot of the characters autographs and pictures.

Dallas was chosen to be part of the "Jedi Training Academy" during one of the shows. He was soo excited. They got to wear the cool robes and learn different things with the lightsabers and then fight Darth Vader and Darth Mall at the end.

The last night they wanted to see Fantasmic. So after 1 1/2 hours of trying to save a spot on the ground being pushed and shoved by a million people, we finally saw the production. They thought it was the greatest. I just kept thinking...this is the last thing..this is the last thing...this is the last thing. I made it!!!

We also did a little swimming...they such cute little fish!!

Day 2 - DisneyLand

The boys were so excited for DisneyLand that we got there when it was opening. We were able to make see most of the park...but didn't have time for all the rides.

We started in Tomorrowland where Space Mountain is. Well that is Dallas's favorite ride and well...not so much for Tyler. He was in tears by the end. I think it was just the fact that he didn't know what to expect and he was flying through the air in the dark....he wants to try it again.

We went through many of the fun rides in Fantasyland...Alice in Wonderland...the Carrousel and of course the Tea Cups....that ride looks sooo fun...but wow it made me sick. The boys loved it.

Toontown was fun...we waited over an hour to see Mickey...but they loved it.

We were able to see the parade...they thought it was great to see so many characters.

Their favorite rides were Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, and Space Mountain...

We are all exhausted and ready for California Adventures tomorrow. :)

Day 1 of Trip to Cali - 1 Adult & 3 Kids

So we planned a trip to DisneyLand a few months ago for the 5 of us to go. Well Shane decided that 4 days of DisneyLand, rollercoaster, and him just didn't mix in his current state. So off I went on this lovely adventure of me and the boys. They have been so excited to go. I lost count on how many timess Tyler asked, "How many more minutes until we leave?"


So off we went to the airport. Dylan and Dallas have only been on a plane on other time (last DisneyLand trip - 4 years ago) and Tyler has never been on one. So there were 52 million questions for everything from security and "Why do we have to take our shoes off?" to the airplane with "Can airplanes really crash?" But needless to say, they were pretty excited. They sounded like we were on a rollercoaster when we took off and landed...and they were LOUD on the plane. I kept having to tell them to talk quietly. So onto the taxi ride. I didn't realize they would think that was so cool. But WOW...they thought taxis were great. The taxi driver was great. He was from Italy and had a really cool accent. The boys were being crazy in the back and I kept telling them to settle down, but the taxi driver kept telling me that the kids are just fine...they are just excited. He was really cool.


So not realizing how exhausting traveling with 3 little boys was...I was very excited to get to the hotel. I was checking in with this "lovely" guy at the Embassy Suites. He told me that they didn't have any rooms left. I asked if he was joking. He wasn't. He told me that there was a computer gliche and they were overbooked. He told me that they could send us down to the Sheraton for one night and then we could come back tomorrow for the rest of our stay. Well I was the wrong person to mess with at that time. (Side note: The boys are running around the entrance being CRAZY!!) I went off on him and how he obviously didn't realize what it was like to travel alone with 3 kids and did he realize what I was going to have to do to move kids around and go back and forth from hotels. He just sat there. So I asked what he planned on doing about this. He offered a $50 voucher to their restaurant. I said, "WHAT? $50!!" He said, "Ok I can give you one for $100." I said, "Whatever!" So he told me that he would go get the paperwork to move us to the other hotel and be back. I was irate!! Dylan came over and asked what was wrong. I told him that we had to change hotels...he asked why...I said, "Because this hotel sucks!" (Yes I was mad!!) I said that just as the guy came around the corner. Well he told me that somehow they were able to find me a room. It is funny what people are able to do when you throw a fit.


But some guy named Chris Wirly will not be happy...there was a handwritten note in our room to him thanking him for coming and being a member of some honory Hilton something or other. Oops!!

Picture of the boys in the Atrium in the hotel

Dylan and I at Denny's for dinner

Good News!

Dr. Chen came and visited us during Shane's chemo today to tell us the results of his scan. She told us...GOOD NEWS!! She said they have started to reduce in size. The soft tissue and lymph node that were cancerous in his neck has "resolved completely," meaning it is gone. There is a slight reduction in the lesions on his ribs. The nodules in the lungs are unchanged, but there aren't any new ones. This is positive that they are seeing results with the chemo. He will continue on with the same treatment he has been doing and will have scans every 6 weeks to monitor the status.

I am so happy that it was good news and especially since he would have had to be hospitalized for chemo had it been bad. What would I have done with Shane in the hospital...who would be here to constantly be sarcastic and to scare everybody to death with his sick and twisted humor (Yes, it was Shane who wrote the April 1st entry as if I had written it). So we are all glad that he will be here to continue on with this.

Crazy Night

Ok so last night was scary. Shane had been quiet ever since I got home from work and said that he wasn’t feeling all that great, well during dinner when I looked over at him I noticed he was quite pale. I asked if he was ok and he gave me his usual “I’m fine”. About 30 minutes later I could hear something strange in the bathroom, as I investigated I found Shane huddled over the toilet puking up blood. We rushed him to the emergency room. After all of the crazyness in the ER and what seemed like a blur I found myself in a room watching Shane sleep with tubes and wires strung all across his body. I realize at that time that the outlook isn’t good for him and I am not sure how much longer I can stay strong. As I sit in a chair with a tear soaked pillow in my lap a thought comes into my head that I ponder and question myself about. Is it wrong for me to smother him? Wouldn’t it be better for the both of us? How long would I have to hold this pillow over his face? Of course I dismissed the horrible thoughts, but as I type this blog entry one more question arises in my heart. Do you know what today’s date is?

Easter at Honeycomb

Shane grew up going to a place they call Honeycomb Mountain every Easter. So we have continued that tradition. The mountain looks like a big honeycomb and works great for hiding eggs. The boys just absolutely love going there. They love to hike up the mountain exploring, riding their four-wheelers, and doing whatever they want. This year they really got into going over jumps on their four-wheelers. They got pretty daring. Even Tyler, who looked like he was having a hard time controlling it. But he got better as the days went on. There was an old mine/cave a little ways up the mountain and everyone kept telling them that there was a mountain lion in there. Well Shane, Uncle Jace, and their cousin scared them to death by making growling noises when they were up there. Dylan ended up in tears.
Easter morning they got to hike all over the mountain looking for eggs and their Easter baskets. I couldn't look half the time that Tyler was running all over the mountain. I thought for sure he would go tumbling down it.

Chemo - Week 5

So for those of you who haven't seen Shane in the last week, he doesn't have anymore hair. It was coming out by the handfuls last week and it was really itchy. So he asked me to shave it off. Then a few days later, he took a look at his facial hair. It was splotchy, so he shaved it off. It was pretty funny this morning when one of the boys told Shane that he was starting to recognize him again without his hair. :)

He is still very positive and in good spirits. He had his double dose of chemo yesterday. He is a little tired from it and has lost his appetite. I just offered to make him some pull-apart bread and he turned it down. That is so unlike Shane. He is not looking forward to the sores he will get in his mouth - it makes him not able to tolerate his daily dose of Cholula. But he is still working out even though he is tired and he forces himself to continue eating 6-7 times per day. He is hardcore!! :)

Last time we met with Dr. Chen, Shane asked what we should expect after this first round of chemo. She had told us initially that there is a 50/50 chance of this chemo working. She told us that they will have results from his scans on his last day of chemo. They will be able to see if the tumors/lesions have shrunk. She told us that if they have gotten smaller, then he will start another round of the same kind of chemo, plus he will need radiation to get rid of the cancer in the bones. So then he asked the dreaded question of "What if the chemo is not working?" She told us to pray that it does. She said they would try a much harsher chemo next, that he would be hospitalized for 5 days at a time for.

We appreciate all the love and support we get from all of our family and friends. Thank you for the emails, text messages, phone calls (I know we are bad about answering our phones, but we try not to dwell on what is going on and talking to everyone about it sometimes makes it harder. That is why we chose to put info on the blog.) We love all of you!!

Tag...you're it!!

A: The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B: Each player answers the questions about themselves.
C: At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

10 years ago:-I was getting ready to make 1 of 2 big mistakes (1st marriage).
5 Things on my to-do list:-
Order more SkinCeuticals product (doing that right after I finish this)
Pack for the weekend
Pay Bills
Property tax crap for the business
Clean the garage

5 Places lived:
Long Beach, CA
Orem, UT
Winter Haven, FL
Eagle Mountain, UT
Highland, UT

5 jobs:-
Western Watts
ZCMI
Chilis
Maxi Mart -- Texaco
American Name Services

5 things people don't know:-
I am an open book...I don't think there isn't anything people don't know.

Well I think Amber tagged almost everyone that we know in common....
I am tagging Amy, MaryJane, Vanessa, Brindy, Adri, & Kelsie.

And so it begins......

I came home last night to find Shane asleep with a bandana on his head. He told me that his hair was falling out. I was like whatever...(last time he told me this, I believed him and he was really joking).
But it is true...

Shane had another chemo treatment today. Everything went well for him. I can't say the same thing for one of the ladies that was getting treatment in the infusion suite with him. She had a seizure during her treatment...a little scary.

Barber is Back Behind Bars!!

So it took 3 days to get Barber back behind bars. We kept hearing him in random places of the house. We finally were able to pin him down to being under the cabinets in the bathroom. There was a tiny hole in the kickboard that allowed him to get in, but we couldn't get him out. So we cut a few holes in the bottom of the cupboard and tried to lure him out. It didn't work. So when the boys got home from their Dad's tonight, we made them put their hand in the small hole and pull him out.